Monday, October 16, 2006
Parking warden
I reversed my car into a disabled bay yesterday and a parking warden shouted out to me, "Oi mate, whats your disability?" I said "Tourrettes you cunt, now fuck off!"
Friday, September 29, 2006
The Pope has a typical Friday night out in Dagenham.
I had this bloke fuckin' came up to me and said " Fuck off cunt." and I said, "Nah you fuck off cunt." and then this woman walked up to us both and said, "YOU FUCKIN' PAIR OF STUPID CUNTS!" Well, I was fucking gob smacked weren't I? So anyhow, this bloke said "Who you calling a stupid pair of cunts you old whore?"
And she replied, "Why you, you fucking thick cunt and him who's wrapped up in a fuckin' sheet, you pair of cunts!"
Well, the next thing I noticed was this fuckin' "copper" coming along and said, "'Ello 'ello 'ello what are you three cunts up to? Causing a fuckin' disturbance eh you fucking cunts?" With that I said, "Don't you call me a cunt you cunt." And the copper replied, "I'll fuckin' arrest you for talking to me like that you fuckin' cunt." The other bloke said, "You can't arrest him for that you cunt." and the copper replied, "YOU CUNT,YOU'RE FUCKIN' NICKED AS WELL." The woman retorted by saying "YOU FUCKIN' CUNT, LEAVE HIM ALONE!" The copper yelled back, "Who you calling a cunt you fuckin' cock sucking slag, FUCK OFF before I nick you as well." So I chimed in with "O.K. you load of cunts calm down and lets sort this out like mature cunts." Well, the copper went fuckin' apeshit by saying, "NOW YOU'RE CALLING ME AN OLD CUNT YOU CUNT, FUCK OFF YOU FUCKIN' CUNT." and he kneed me in the bollocks the cunt. So the other bloke said, "Oy you fuckin' cunt copper,say sorry." The copper replied "What to that cunt you cunt, what do you think I am, some kind of cunt or something?" Well, the woman said, " Typical of the fuckin' old bill, they're all miserable ignorant fuckin' cunts." With that, these yobbo's came along and one of them fuckin' farted, I tell you, some people have no fuckin' manners do they?"
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Fluff
NODDARF GANG ! I'll tell you wot music lovers we have a request here from Pope Bendydick saying, "Hi Fluff could you play anything by Mitrehead, Deep Papal, The Stray Vats or even say a little bit of Faith, Pope and Charity." I'll tell you what "Bendy" me old mate, you have got a great taste in music. How about something from Mitreheads "Hi jinx in the little cardinals room" album ? This ones called "My mitre, my lighter." O.K.Mate? Noddarf !
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
What's he doing Derek ?
J.P. 2 After being told his numbers did not come up on the "lottery". Or after being told all of his "Special Brew" had gone. OR.....After drinking all 36 cans of his "Special Brew."
CUNTLEY.
OH LOOK, IT'S CUNTLEY. FUCKING VILE SCUM. MAY THE CUNT ROT IN HELL. COWARDLY LYING FUCKING CUNT. GOB ON THIS HEAP OF PIGS VOMIT.
Monday, August 28, 2006
SERIOUS ACCIDENT.
The Pope has another smash up after a Friday night session down "The Vatican Arms Tavern". He and the Archbishop of Canterbury had each downed 27 Vodka and tonics, 9 bottles of Johnnie Walker (Red label), and 20 pints of Abbott Ale. Nobody was hurt.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Sport Extra !
"Whirlwind Johnny" invites you to take him on at snooker. The Vatican classic starts this Saturday and J.P.2 invites all budding "hustlers" to take him on for the much coveted prize of 2,000 Euros. Only one snag, J.P.2 insists that all challengers are given a 100 point handicap.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Knobs and Knockers.
Eric Sykes gets aroused whilst out walking with Q.E.2 recently in Vatican Square.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Sunday, June 18, 2006
Narcotics in the Vatican
J.P.2 and his loyal sidekick, Rabbi Gideon Wallet openly flaunt their mega-size spliffs during an impromptu tour of Hackney Marshes yesterday. Police charges are expected to follow!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
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